Screw the cooking set, firetruck or generally contented and happy toys you get from PlayMobil.
Kids nowadays need a taste of the real world, and PlayMobil provides with a toy at a gob smacking 58 USD.
Read the Amazon link here and especially the user feedback!
Zampano: Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. I applaud the people who created this toy for finally being hip to our changing times. Little children need to be aware that not all smiling faces and uniforms are friendly. I noticed that my child is now more interested in current events. Just the other day he asked me why we had to forfeit so much of our liberties and personal freedoms and I had to answer “well, it’s because the terrorists have already won”. Yes, they have won.
I also highly recommend the Playmobil “farm fencing” so you can take your escorted airline passenger away and fence him behind bars as if he were in Guantanamo Bay.
Loosenut: I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).
R. Juliano: When I bought this toy, I was looking forward to placing my minority-action figure through the metal detector, and then running the little script I prepared: “Excuse me sir, but you have been ‘randomnly’ selected for additional scans. Please let us take a sample from your shoe while the computer analyzes findings for any radioactive or biohazardous material”.
It’s too bad that they never came out with the “Pat-Down” edition, where fat guards are groping women for weapons, and turning customers away who refuse the degrading method of search.
My only suggestion is that if this is based on the John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York, please don’t forget to include the bums who torment you for spare change. Thanks!